my fuckeng blog

the state of social media is quite bad. i grew up on tumblr (to some detriment), and i loved cohost, which is shutting down. always trying to transfer more of my internet reliance into this website, because there's far fewer psychological hooks, and far more control over what i make.

i'm not sure what kind of stuff will be here, though seeing as it's aiming to supplement or maybe replace tumblr and cohost, probably random short things, little pictures, longer thoughts, and anything that doesn't necessarily warrant a full dedicated page. though i am wanting to make more full dedicated pages to things, as well.

please feel free to comment on anything here, or anywhere on my website! you can also email me at j.ymbryne.t@proton.me! id love to hear from u

10/27/24
ohio is gerrymandered to shit. America is gerrymandered to shit. trump lost the popular vote in 2016. my county has ~180k voters and is primarily blue; every county surrounding it has ~20k voters and is primarily red; these counties all weigh as much as mine in the election. even if ohio voted mostly blue, the electoral votes would be mostly red. and the people of ohio still have voted mostly red. there is literally no difference i can make here by voting for the lesser evil. all 'vote blue no matter who' does is try to convince you your vote actually matters, try to convince you the democrats are Good just because they are not As Bad, try to make you settle and participate and have faith in the system that is structured to absolutely ignore you, but depends on the majority believing in it
the clouds are somethin today
10/17/24
btw rap is good. been listening to biggie smalls, mf doom, wu tang clan, the fugees
between packing up/cleaning to move, and working a lot on little crochet accessories for my girl's halloween costume, i might not be able to make one for myself u_u
the other day i saw an eagle carrying a cat. keep your cats inside folks
10/15/24
our apartment building is super old and so is everything in it

if our thermostat ever had any numbers theyve worn off. the only indicator left on the dial is a zone labelled "comfort zone"; "comfort zone" sets the heaters to full blast forever so it is likely the comfort zone for a vent-dwelling microbe

so ive over the years managed to fiddle and find just the right spot on this giant dial with about 10% of it usable, and ive just. marked a line there with pencil.

hope when we move out, they leave that mark. otherwise whoever comes next will have to emulate my journey ⁠´⁠ー⁠`
also! getting a refund for my bike. :} there's been a number of used e-bikes popping up for sale around here so once i get the money i am certain i can find a much better one soon
10/13/24
hearing a local college radio station and the guy running it is doing. a really good strong bad voice
10/9/24
oh man im really going back to my Classic tumblr days with "complaining about my lib mom". authentic. true to my core. i dont have reason to do that as much anymore though
im! getting! a bike refund! the cost of repairs wouldve been more than i paid 🎉🎉🎉 so insurance is covering it because the company isnt answering my emails. so i can get the money back and get a NEW, SLIGHTLY BETTER BIKE, and let my skater friend TRASH this one!!!! this absolute garbage of a vehicle! will have to figure out how to get it ridable though. the rims need... hammered back into place or something. im thinking about a blacksmith i know
here is a shared thought, that is, in addition to yesterdays parent complaint, very true to my core
i should draw a fursona for her in my new sketchbook
(not my mom. Her. yknow! Girl!) (i love girl)
10/6/24
my mom cant even gender the nonbinary characters in good omens right
every vote blue no matter who bitch ive ever talked to has never had any decent response when i remind them trump lost the popular vote
10/2/24

i had patched up two inner tubes for my bike's tire, and it seemed like they were holding, so i rode out towards my friends neighborhood

i had decided since id been having so much goddamn tire trouble and needing to be picked up from random places, id start keeping tools and a spare in my bike basket

so when i got a flat just One Mile away from my place i was like okay whatever lets replace it. i set out pretty early, i might still be able to make it to the thing my friends are doing

it is a pain in the ass to get the tire off. my tire levers are bad, my tires are bad, my rims are bad. took me like an hour but I changed it and i was like ok maybe i can still be there a half hour late or so

the tire i replaced wasnt holding air at all. the new one also went flat after a mile, but it was still holding air for ... about a mile each time

so i rode the rest of the way (about 7 miles) refilling the tire every mile.

i didnt make it to the thing obviously but i got other stuff here today but god damb. have to be dropped off at home again. i hate this. rly need to get it fixed or replaced i guess. things made of tissue paper

im confused though bc im sittingnjere looking at the tube i took off and its not leaking when i pump it up. so its. literally just something with the bike and the wheel rim and such. cool!

10/1/24
hey do yall remember fanmail??!!

i sat here thinking about it for a moment and that was… idunno. that was a peak tumblr feature in my opinion.

it was a weird, cute, private, one-by-one messaging system. you could send a tumblr an ask - which i think could be answered privately but is bad for sustained communication and is still open to being published - or you could send them fanmail which would be like getting an ask, that you cant publish, and the text is larger and stylized like a little note on notebook paper (and you can choose different fonts and paper styles! very cute!)

it was a back-and-forth pen pal kind of thing. it was great!

i think they shuttered it as… a move to a more Public-focused tumblr system? thats how its definitely felt to me over the years (can you even make private blogs anymore??)

and they ofc added messaging, which is private but its also a tiny, IM-based format (and entire conversations are very easily screenshotable). its texting

9/30/24
btw i like girls a lot!!!!
9/28/24

invasive morning glories eating a weedwhacker
i need something i can wear to craft markets and stuff, like a sign around my neck that says "I HAVE NO MONEY"
9/25/24
"i've got to lose weight" that's the devil talking
heres a fun whole ordeal of a situation ive been living with

so, around april, i knew i was gonna be losing access to the car i'd been driving. so i ordered an electric bike. i was very stressed and under a tight tight tight budget so i ordered a cheap one with 0 reviews off ebay from china. i did at least buy a third party protection plan to cover anything going wrong with it. but this thing has been my sole mode of transport (aside from the occasional ride from a friend) since may.

it's fun as fuck! riding a bike is fun, and this lets me do it without getting anywhere near as exhausted. however, as i really shouldve predicted, this thing's a piece of shit. there's a lot of little quirks about it that are hard for me to articulate, but it just doesn't work how an e-bike should; additionally and far easier to explain is that it's constantly falling apart and disintegrating and having all of its bits warped out of place by minor force. after about a month the brakes randomly lost about 75% of their efficacy; after another month they no longer worked at all. every 20 times or so i turn it on the brakes randomly go back up to 25% working, and then back to 0 eventually. so that's especially cool. the soles of my shoes are wearing smooth from stopping myself!

potentially linked to the bike quality, but probably more just about riding a bike in the city, is that I've had 6 flats in 5 months. the sidewalks are littered with glass. it's great! i've had to get a friend to rescue me quite a few times now. i've ordered a patch kit so i can start fixing my inner tubes instead of replacing them, and i'm thinking hard about... carrying spares, and a pump, with me. because this is not sustainable. but i am always already carrying so much shit. need to see if i can find a pump that's smaller and lighter.

anyways, i cashed in on that aforementioned third party protection plan. the company that made the e-bike itself is ghosting me about the Fucking Brakes Not Working, so i'm real glad i had one decently responsible thought when i bought this thing. the complication is that the insurance company will reimburse me for repairs - which still means i'll have to be able to afford them in the first place. however... there's a chance that if i can't afford them, and call them back and let them know that, they'll just refund me for the bike. which would be absolutely fucking ideal because i could put that money towards getting a better fucking bike. (and let my batshit skater friend trash this one. i'd love that.)

the listing i bought the bike off of was taken down for a policy violation of some kind. they just made a new listing for the same exact bike, though. and it's $200 less than i paid for it. makes me wanna hit someone with a rock.
for months n months now i've been trying to find places to sell my ceramics.

i could always sell them online - but that's a lot of work, between setting up a shop, setting up every listing, dealing with fees and shipping and Especially making sure things ship Safely. and since ive been doing a lot more local stuff i started looking around at selling locally.

problem is, as always, you need to spend money to make money. half the places i could sell at/through require me to be a licensed business (not happening any time soon), and all of them cost $100-$200+ just to be a vendor. go fuck yourself!

i have a few artist friends willing to go halfsies, but things dont always line up right. im probably going to have to start being more of a guerilla business bitch. just set up somewhere and leave when it causes trouble.
a photograph of the front of my bike at night. danging from one handlebar is a tote bag full of stuff; text pointing to things in it label them as 'rolled up protest poster', 'bong', and 'doritos'. text pointing to the main basket says 'jug of mead'.
this is how i rode home the other night
9/23/24

[austin powers voice] yeah, baby!
middle aged bicurious women find me charming and incredibly hot


i usually forget about american independence day. it means nothing to me. the day before, this year, i went out to my ceramics studio to find it closed, and the whole area around it a packed festival - a really bougie one. overpriced beer, american flags everywhere, cops everywhere. one even took my phone when i set it down for a second. before i got the fuck out of there i wrote this angry poem somewhere nearby.

i do not appreciate
the nature of this country
it makes you need it
it makes you hurt to be in it
& think this is good & just
we deserve to suffer,
says the flag
they deserve to die,
says the flag

here's two cohost posts i made and quite liked

BY WALKING AWAY FROM OMELAS YOU ARE LITERALLY CONDEMNING THE OMELAS KID TO ETERNAL SUFFERING. VOTE

im 'minmaxing'.... doing the minimum amount of work the maximum amount of time!!! hohohohohohohoho!!!!!!
9/16/24

if you want something done weird you gotta do it yourself


women love me for my insight into various health problems
9/14/24
lets see... maybe at some point i'll comb through my tumblr and cohost a bit and archive some fun stuff here.
but anyways!

yesterday my good friend took me to a tattoo shop that was having a huge sale. she was gonna pay for a tattoo for me, and a few for herself. but the wait was going to be Many Hours, so after we got our waitlist number we went and watched a movie. realized during this, aww, we left our bag of taco bell sitting on the curb outside. sad!

when we went back to the tattoo shop to ask what number they were at, the manager said WERE YOU THE PEOPLE WITH THE TACO BELL? YOU LEFT YOUR GARBAGE HERE. WE AREN'T FUCKING SERVING YOU.
so like. learning experience: there are better tattoo shops that won't yell at you for forgetting a single paper bag (with your burrito! that you're sad about!)
even the employees were side-eyeing us. bewildering shit. no wonder their reviews are so bad?

also i love when i'm eating a fruit and there's a smaller fruit inside. i get this with bell peppers a lot, and just had it happen with a grape